Last year we were invited to Catherine's Curry Night of Note. It was also the only occasion in probably the last 20 years that I forgot my camera at home so this spectacular event went undocumented. So? I hear you mumble belligerently (thank goodness for spell check on that one). YOU didn’t see the magnificent spread of food at this mega-dinner. However, the camera-forgetting-trick did work well, as they were forced to invite me back this year to take photos. The worrying thing is, am I now going to be invited back next year??

Last year saw a French-wanting-to-learn-English-from-moi-student in tow at the party. Sebastian was, and still is, the only French person I have ever met who REALLY likes to eat hot food. And by hot I obviously mean spicy, but not just mouth-burning-flavour-destroying-hot (which I also love, but that’s a whole other issue), I’m talking spicy AND tasty. This year we had Pierre with us and he was very brave and too enjoyed the food. Chapeau, as they say in France (means “hat” in English…no, not quite the same effect).

I am going to have to repeat myself continuously in this post, but the food was just awesome. There were 17 (YES, that's seventeen) different dishes prepared by Catherine and Steve. That’s more than most people produce in a month and she (sorry Steve, but I think she did the mostest work here) did it all in a couple of days. And they both had funny tummies to boot the week before. Hey, quieten down at the back there – they hadn’t eaten any of the food yet, you plonker.

I actually don’t know where to begin – there was just sooooo much. And it just kept coming. And because I was the local news reporter for the evening, I was allowed to photograph everything first and get the first bite (also middle bite to test for continued goodness, and last bite to test for…okay, so I’m a pig) of everything. I am going to turn this into a fulltime profession. If my hips will hold out.

Each dish was accompanied by a name card which also had a saying appropriate to the food. I am still in awe. And I am still full from all I ate a month ago. Pierre tried about 3 different dishes and I tried them all. All (…) of them. And not just once. I am ashamed. And full. And happy. Please feel free to put in good words for me to Catherine just to be sure I’m invited back in spite of my gluttonous behaviour.

Here is a (an awesome) list of what we (were lucky enough to have eaten) ate.

1. Chickpea and Rice balls: “Jeeperes Jeeves, I’ll be damned if Cook hasn’t completely lost the plot.”

2. Onion Bhaji: “Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!” enthused the enflamed Mainwaring.

3. Nan Bread: Furtively Caruthers slipped out the back, nervously clutching his chapattis.

4. Beef Satay: Hetherington had this trick with skewers that wasn’t always opportune at parties.

5. Chicken Tandoori Kebabs: “Time for a spot of action chaps – remember Agincourt” urged Stokes mischievously.

6. Balinese Seafood Curry: Singleton was a tad partial to a dip into deeper waters on occasion.

7. Chicken Xacuti: “Guess ten nifty spices in this number and you’ll still only have half” smirked Snodgrass.

8. Khatte Chhole – Sour Chickpeas: “Three cheers for the Raj – Hip Hip” piped up Sapper Jenkins.

9. Turmeric Dhal: “By Jove, Caruthers, it’s going to be (a) long night if my digestion doesn’t deceive!”

10. Baigan achari – pickled aubergine: Not content to stop at the sloe gin, Davenport took his pickling most seriously.

11. Baghari phool gobi – cauliflower: “Better colly than cabbage-looking, what!” chortled Flowers.

12. Raita – cucumber: “I recommend this fresh little number from Deirdre, M’Lord” dared Ffiened cockily.

13. Lamb Rogan Josh: “This ‘Rojasthani Rogue’ is most highly commented” exhorted the Colonel.

14. Pork Vindaloo: “It’s mighty hot chaps, but we’re going in” encouraged the whimsical Smythe.

15. Fruit Platter (forgot to photograph words! But was beautifully made by Steven)

16. Raspberry Tart: supplied by guest.

17. Two types of homemade ice-cream!! Mango and cinnamon I do believe. (Forgot to photograph…reason to be re-invited one hopes.)