Thank you for reading my blog! I hope you get as much pleasure out of reading it as I get out of writing it. I intend to continue bothering you with my ranting and raving, and have some cool new ideas for next year...

Seeing as its Christmas I thought I would share some of the discussions I’ve had with God and the Universe. I put my ability to be able to open my mouth and say something completely inane down to Him having a sense of humor. For instance, this following conversation could easily happen to me on a daily basis.

Me: “Can’t stand (any breed of dog) those dogs – yappy biting monsters.”
(Ex) Friend: “I had one for 19 years, died just yesterday; saved the children from a fire once. It was my husbands dying wish that the dog be buried next to him when it passed.”

Me: “Did I say that breed? Of course I love them! It’s the (name another breed) I can’t stand.”
(Definitely ex) Friend: (Tears in eyes) “My sister had one for 23 years, lost both back legs dragging the baby from a raging river where it would otherwise have plummeted to its death.”

What you think is thunder is actually God rolling around laughing. There are days when I like: “You know what God, I’m just going to spend the day in bed and then nothing can go wrong.”
Him: “Don’t be silly. It’s the dog’s Remembrance Day. I’ll be quiet.”

The dog to whom He is referring was the much loved Nick, born to Peg and Tim. Sadly, he passed away and they buried him in the garden and put up a gravestone for him. I went out first to have a look at the stone and stood looking at this grey slab, thinking,
“Wow, this looks just like a grey slab, but say something nice,” “How lovely” I say.
Peg: “Crystal, that’s the septic tank lid. The gravestone is over here.”

Me to Him: “That is just so not funny.”
Him: “Oh come on, it is too. Lid of the septic tank!”

And now you know where hurricanes come from.

So without further ado (and I do love all dogs) I wish you all a merry Christmas and a naughty New Year. May all your wishes and dreams come true (unless they involve George Clooney and then I hope they don’t come true ‘cos HE’S MINE!).